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Squirrelistan operatives take hits
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2. |
Knights of the Oak Tree reemerge; threaten bassetdom
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PBF Anti-Varmint Terrorist Team digs for world peace! Watch the video
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Assault on Bassetdom, Terrorists in Squirrelistan
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7. |
Squirrel Terrorist Warning Raised to RED
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Squirrels forming civilian militia, prepping for urban warfare
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9. |
Attempted Rattaliban assault repelled (updated)
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10. |
Anti Squirrel Terrorist Teams eliminate world threats
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| 1. | Trial deployment of BHS Flat Basset (08/25/2010)
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Active Alerts
The war rages on
Ruger Director of ASTT woofing in.
The battle for a free basset nation rages on here at HQ ASTT. Multiple missions have been launched with varying degrees of success over the past few days. Intel has been gathered and two top squirrel operatives have been eliminated by the "Dynamic Duo of Batman and Robin"
Dang it Colt, quit infiltrating my DD report transmissions! Sorry about that folks. Dang hound all full of himself since he took out the last squirrel. Honestly it was a team effort in the capture and Colt was just the executioner after we interrogated the suspect and Judge Dread, ie...Colt, found him guilty of terrorist acts like setting off itchiecyde bombs, destruction of neigbors soffits and roof vents, and other unspeakable acts of terrorism and sentenced Mr. Ali Squirrel-ahhhkkkmid to instant death.
No bassets were injured in these raids but the squirrelstans have taken numerous casualties over the past 5 days. So raise your glasses or water dishes and drink a toast to a free basset nation! S
Ruger, Director of ASTT Florida Gulf Coast
& Colt "I'm Batman"
Ruger: "Colt get your big rhinocerous butt back out on patrol and off of my pawboard!!!"
Squirrelistan Intel Report 3
Dear CIC Bo:
Ruger Director of ASTT forwarding intel repawt to you from on of our one of our operatives in the field.
Please see the below repawt and the attached photo. It appears that the Squirrelistans have reinstated the "Old Guard;" either that, or they just like rocking it old school style. Hee hee hee woof hee hee hee ... little joke. Back to the business at paw.
(See Colt. I told you that joke wasn't funny!)
Any howl, we need to make all of ASTT and the PBF aware of this new threat, the Knights of the Oak Tree have reemerged and we need to be ready for them.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Dear Colt and Ruger,
My Mom was surfing Pinterest and found this photo of a member of the Squirrel Invasion Force. Someone inside their organization must have leaked the photo. I would post it to the Drool but I don't know how to do that. Do you think that they are planning to invade the Bridge? We must warn Elder Clara!
We leave this in your capable paws.
Lilie and Daffodil Basset
Squirrelistan Intel Report 2
- Subject: Squirrelstan Threatens to take Hostages
- From: Ruger ASTT Director
Momma repawted back with the Terrorist Squirrel Activity that was posted on a bulletin board at the Physical Therapy clinic, right.
So with this new intel and with the increased squirrel attacks on our compound, I am suggesting to the Chief of Boneland Security and to CIC Bo of the PBF that we raise the Squirrel Terror Level to RED! ALL PAWS ON DECK!!!
All ASTT members are on a 3 ring alert! Keep an eye on your nutty slaves, there are squirrels out there that want to take them.
Hounds of Bev & Marlene Stay vigilant! Your slaves along with our momma could be next to come up missing.
"Colt, you have body guard duties for our momma"
--Ruger Director of ASTT & Gulf Coast Team Leader out.
Squirrelistan Intel Report 1
- Urgent Memo to CIC BO
- Cc. Muldoon
- Subject: Proof of increased Squirrelstan Threat
- From: Ruger ASTT Director
Sir, The Doug House Gang ASTT has just returned from its RECON Mission on some of the Squirrelistan training camps and has come back with the following intelligence report.
The photo at the right is confirmation that the squirrelistans are becoming an increased threat to the free basset world.
--Ruger Director of ASTT & Gulf Coast Team Leader
Update: Attempted Rattaliban invasion repelled, subversives captured and deported
This is Bo, Commander in Chief of the Pacific Basset Feet. Thank you, Sgt. Conrad, for your request for a PBF update.
On the Rattaliban front, our forces have made significant progress in the Pacific Theater. At PBF headquarters, four rattalibans were captured alive and deported to non-basset territories. The Rattaliban were resourceful, however, armed apparently with Mausers. Following the initial rattailaban surge, five mousers were next captured alive in PBF traps and also deported.
Lewd-tenant Harley reports that there have been no Panzer attacks this year. Previously he repelled two attacks of falling pans with his pointy head. Lt. Harley had cleverly decoyed the Panzers into attacking him by tugging them off the counter upon which they were hiding, filled with roasted chicken.
In Illinois, the offensive against the Rattaliban has produced several casualties. I am surprised that your rehabilitative skills have not been called for. In the Szaton home, Rattaliban improvised snap devices (ISD's) have injured the fingers of Admirals Nigel, Llewis, and Conley's human slaves. In all fairness, however, these ISD's were set by these same parties (rather than the Rattaliban), so the incidents may qualify as friendly fur. Admiral Conley has personally hurtled high barriers in pursuit of the enemy.
A progress report regarding the Squirrelistan initiative this past year is provided by Directors Colt and Ruger.
The PBF remains committed to improving all of bassetdom.
- Semper fido, troops.
- Bo, CICPBF
Press Releases
Press Release 1 (August 25, 2010): Trial deployment of BHS Flat Basset, Feet's first LCS (Littoral Combat Ship)
The Pacific Basset Feet's first littoral combat ship, Flat Basset, will add up to 20 Hounds to its crew while it makes its trial deployment, launching today August 25, 2010.
Recruits are actively sought in the Western Theater of Operations including Diggers in New Zealand and Australia. "The extra Hounds will be part of a 'tailored surface warfare package' TSWP that Flat Basset will take on its mission to the Western Theater of Operations and will give the ship the ability to conduct at-sea boardings and do other jobs it couldn't tackle with only its main crew," PBF officials said.
Bo said Flat Basset's 20 extra Hounds would sleep in two 12-rack berthing modules, about the size of shipping containers, which will ride in the ship's multiuse mission spaces. While the 75 core Hounds will stay in the ship's integral berthing spaces - which include double-tall racks, rooms of no more than eight Hounds, and a head and shower to each berthing area. "The VBSS Hounds' lodging will be more like those of sailors on a destroyer," he said.
Flat Basset will not take a Fire Scout unmanned helicopter or any of the maritime robots it's designed to carry, nor will it carry the Non-Line-of-Sight missiles designed to be part of its surface mission package. That weapon, being developed with the Army, is still being tested.
Bo, Odell and Capt. Harley, NavSea's assistant program manager for LCS, spoke at a Surface Navy Association event August 12 outside Pearl Harbor, Hawaii. In addition to the details about Flat Basset's deployment, Bo announced the PBF planned to commission its second LCS, shortly.
-- Muldoon
